That's AWESOME!!!

A letter to my duffer Brother.

Dear Dushant,

I have this very clear memory of little me sitting in front of God for days and nights asking for only one thing - "Please give me a little brother", I don't clearly remember why I asked so, maybe I didn't have anyone to play with. And you were born. So, technically your birth is an answer to my prayers and thus you are HIS gift to me. 
I know sometimes I completely ignore you, don't give you much time and go with a dry conversation. It's all my mood. And I go on doing this because I know you'll understand me and you do! 
We are more of friends and share almost everything but I choose to behave responsibly when I am around you because I can see many things from childhood you have directly adopted from me and it's my responsibility as an elder sibling to make sure whatever you get from me is the best.
I'll be always standing by your side no matter what.
If you do something good, I'll be applauding you and if you do something wrong, I'll be the first one to slap you. Hope you remember that slap :P
My advice for you would be - Don't change, your version of living life is awesome. Be a strong person, don't ever give up!
You are more closer to our parents than I am and it's a good relief for me. I am very sure you are going to have an AWESOME life :)  

काय होतय मला ?

हे काय होतय मला ? चालण्याचा प्रयत्न करतीये पण चालू शकत नाहीये, खरं तर चालण्याचा प्रयत्न सुद्धा करत नाहीये कारण समोर कुठली वाटच दिसत नाहीये.
समोर धुकं आहे आणि फक्त शांतता. मी हि शांत आणि पूर्ण जग शांत झालाय अचानक. असं का झाला असावं ?
कश्याची पण भीतीच राहिली नाहीये, मी फक्त शांत उभी आहे, पुतळा झालाय माझा.
खूप वेगाने धावत धावत इथे पोचले , जरा वेळ विश्रांती घेईन म्हणून डोळे मिटले, पण आता बघते तर काय, समोर काहीच कसं दिसत नाहीये ?
मला पुन्हा वेगाने धावायचय, पण कुठे धावू ? 

मी भूतकाळ आणि भविष्य काळ सगळंच विसरून वर्तमान काळ मध्ये रमलीये का ?
जर हो, तर हे चुकीचं आहे का ?
वर्तमान काळ थोडं जगायला लागलीये, जरा हसायला लागलीये, ते निरागस मज्जा करणारं माझ्यातलं बाळ जिवंत होऊ पाहताय आणि मग, मग येतीये ती भीती, खूप काही गमावून बसण्याची भीती , मागे राहून जाण्याची भीती. अस्वस्थ करणारी शांतता आहे हि. 

खरं सांगू एवढी शांतता नाही आवडत मला. 
होईल ना सगळं ठीक, दिसेल ना मार्ग ?

The time I got Anxiety attack.

It was around 11:30 in the night.

My exams are going on and I took a break from studies and just watching some random video on Youtube and suddenly I started feeling restless which soon grew to feeling scared and my heart just started pounding, I mean my heart beats were beating very fast. More than my heart I am feeling afraid that too without any reason. I thought let's try to calm down, I might feel better in few minutes. But No, now with my increasing heart rate, I started loosing my breath, trying very hard to breath. Now I knew this is getting worse and I went to my friend's room and she called other friends in her room and all were trying to relax me. Now even my throat was feeling choked.
I was in this situation for almost 15 mins. that means 900 seconds. My heart never beat this fast for this long.
 They decided to call our college Doctor in hostel. The Doctor took some 15 minutes to arrive, till then I was feeling better. He came and checked my pulse rate and said now everything looks normal, you are totally fine! And he just confirmed - "You are taking exam stress."
I was like - "No, I don't have any stress right now, exam stress toh bilkul hi nahi."
But still he was in no mood to listen me and said - "Exams are not everything, relax."
And I was - "Hmmm.."

But, he said - You should still go to the BIRLA hospital (the city hospital) and take other doctor's opinion.
I told him - I am feeling fine now and really no need to rush to the hospital at this time (it was 12:15 by now) and also my friends will be coming with me and we have exams tomorrow, I'll go some other day may be.
To this he - "See, again you are worrying about exams. You should go the hospital now."
The hostel warden agreed and I had to go to the hospital.

My college arranged a mini ambulance(college facility) and me with 2 friends, one lady guard and one chemist left for the hospital in ambulance.
After some 5 mins, the driver started Emergency alarm of the ambulance and I was like - "Am I dying ? Do we really need that ? And it was 12:20 in the night and no traffic at all."
Suddenly I was feeling special :P By now I was feeling well.
And as we enter the Hospital area with that alarm, hospital staff was ready with a stretcher and I was like - "Wtf ?"
And I got out of the ambulance totally walking normal, the staff was standing their as if someone pranked them and I hope everyone would have been wondering - "Who is the patient ?"

And we see a Doctor there, he too says everything is normal now and ARE YOUR EXAMS GOING ON ? and my friends giggled, of course. Prescribed medicines and we were back!

Well, I have never got anxiety or panic attacks before, this was first time and guys I am not at all in any stress. Chill! 

What kind of people do I like ?

Hmm..Interesting topic!

1. People who are passionate about something, attracts my attention very quickly.
2. People who are different from crowd, I mean no mediocre please! It turns me off.
3. People who are positive about life.
4. People who believe in manners, kindness and spreading love.
5. Lastly, people who know they are awesome.

I got a solution for bad moods.

Bad moods every one goes through. You have these low days where you feel quite and upset.
But then I have someone who takes away all the sorrow for sometime.
Ladies and gentlemen presenting - Rakhi Sawant.

You just have to go and watch any of her interviews and boom you start feeling good.
I am not someone who can easily criticise someone.
So, I won't say she always talks rubbish or nonsense, rather I look at it as her innocence.

Last two - three days was feeling very low and then I came across this interview.
And I am smiling now :) 

Pleasantly strange.

Something was bothering me really bad from last 3-4 days and today it was at peak. I wanted few things to happen but its just taking time and it feels I am waiting like forever. I was getting all restless. And of course I don't really share things with my family till they are out of my control. And I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight.

As usual I get a call from my parents and same talk continues asking if everything is fine and I had dinner and all. We are about to end our conversation and suddenly my mother out of no where just tells me - "Somethings will happen only at right time. You really don't have to bother." And the phone call ends there.

Its not like I didn't know this, but may be right now I needed this and here she was. I felt as if God spoke through her tongue.

How strange is that ?
She didn't know anything of it and just gave a perfect solution.

A peaceful sleep...