काय होतय मला ?

हे काय होतय मला ? चालण्याचा प्रयत्न करतीये पण चालू शकत नाहीये, खरं तर चालण्याचा प्रयत्न सुद्धा करत नाहीये कारण समोर कुठली वाटच दिसत नाहीये.
समोर धुकं आहे आणि फक्त शांतता. मी हि शांत आणि पूर्ण जग शांत झालाय अचानक. असं का झाला असावं ?
कश्याची पण भीतीच राहिली नाहीये, मी फक्त शांत उभी आहे, पुतळा झालाय माझा.
खूप वेगाने धावत धावत इथे पोचले , जरा वेळ विश्रांती घेईन म्हणून डोळे मिटले, पण आता बघते तर काय, समोर काहीच कसं दिसत नाहीये ?
मला पुन्हा वेगाने धावायचय, पण कुठे धावू ? 

मी भूतकाळ आणि भविष्य काळ सगळंच विसरून वर्तमान काळ मध्ये रमलीये का ?
जर हो, तर हे चुकीचं आहे का ?
वर्तमान काळ थोडं जगायला लागलीये, जरा हसायला लागलीये, ते निरागस मज्जा करणारं माझ्यातलं बाळ जिवंत होऊ पाहताय आणि मग, मग येतीये ती भीती, खूप काही गमावून बसण्याची भीती , मागे राहून जाण्याची भीती. अस्वस्थ करणारी शांतता आहे हि. 

खरं सांगू एवढी शांतता नाही आवडत मला. 
होईल ना सगळं ठीक, दिसेल ना मार्ग ?

The time I got Anxiety attack.

It was around 11:30 in the night.

My exams are going on and I took a break from studies and just watching some random video on Youtube and suddenly I started feeling restless which soon grew to feeling scared and my heart just started pounding, I mean my heart beats were beating very fast. More than my heart I am feeling afraid that too without any reason. I thought let's try to calm down, I might feel better in few minutes. But No, now with my increasing heart rate, I started loosing my breath, trying very hard to breath. Now I knew this is getting worse and I went to my friend's room and she called other friends in her room and all were trying to relax me. Now even my throat was feeling choked.
I was in this situation for almost 15 mins. that means 900 seconds. My heart never beat this fast for this long.
 They decided to call our college Doctor in hostel. The Doctor took some 15 minutes to arrive, till then I was feeling better. He came and checked my pulse rate and said now everything looks normal, you are totally fine! And he just confirmed - "You are taking exam stress."
I was like - "No, I don't have any stress right now, exam stress toh bilkul hi nahi."
But still he was in no mood to listen me and said - "Exams are not everything, relax."
And I was - "Hmmm.."

But, he said - You should still go to the BIRLA hospital (the city hospital) and take other doctor's opinion.
I told him - I am feeling fine now and really no need to rush to the hospital at this time (it was 12:15 by now) and also my friends will be coming with me and we have exams tomorrow, I'll go some other day may be.
To this he - "See, again you are worrying about exams. You should go the hospital now."
The hostel warden agreed and I had to go to the hospital.

My college arranged a mini ambulance(college facility) and me with 2 friends, one lady guard and one chemist left for the hospital in ambulance.
After some 5 mins, the driver started Emergency alarm of the ambulance and I was like - "Am I dying ? Do we really need that ? And it was 12:20 in the night and no traffic at all."
Suddenly I was feeling special :P By now I was feeling well.
And as we enter the Hospital area with that alarm, hospital staff was ready with a stretcher and I was like - "Wtf ?"
And I got out of the ambulance totally walking normal, the staff was standing their as if someone pranked them and I hope everyone would have been wondering - "Who is the patient ?"

And we see a Doctor there, he too says everything is normal now and ARE YOUR EXAMS GOING ON ? and my friends giggled, of course. Prescribed medicines and we were back!

Well, I have never got anxiety or panic attacks before, this was first time and guys I am not at all in any stress. Chill! 

What kind of people do I like ?

Hmm..Interesting topic!

1. People who are passionate about something, attracts my attention very quickly.
2. People who are different from crowd, I mean no mediocre please! It turns me off.
3. People who are positive about life.
4. People who believe in manners, kindness and spreading love.
5. Lastly, people who know they are awesome.

I got a solution for bad moods.

Bad moods every one goes through. You have these low days where you feel quite and upset.
But then I have someone who takes away all the sorrow for sometime.
Ladies and gentlemen presenting - Rakhi Sawant.

You just have to go and watch any of her interviews and boom you start feeling good.
I am not someone who can easily criticise someone.
So, I won't say she always talks rubbish or nonsense, rather I look at it as her innocence.

Last two - three days was feeling very low and then I came across this interview.
And I am smiling now :) 

Pleasantly strange.

Something was bothering me really bad from last 3-4 days and today it was at peak. I wanted few things to happen but its just taking time and it feels I am waiting like forever. I was getting all restless. And of course I don't really share things with my family till they are out of my control. And I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight.

As usual I get a call from my parents and same talk continues asking if everything is fine and I had dinner and all. We are about to end our conversation and suddenly my mother out of no where just tells me - "Somethings will happen only at right time. You really don't have to bother." And the phone call ends there.

Its not like I didn't know this, but may be right now I needed this and here she was. I felt as if God spoke through her tongue.

How strange is that ?
She didn't know anything of it and just gave a perfect solution.

A peaceful sleep...

कौतुक कर ना जरा

मागच्या दिवाळी च्या सुट्टीत घरी जाता आलं नाही, हॉस्टेल मधेच थांबावं लागलं कारण प्रोजेक्ट्स करायचे होते . पण काहीच मना सारखं होत नव्हतं. खूप depressed feel होत होतं, वाटायचं आपल्याने काहीच होऊ शकणार नाही. मग डिनर साठी मेस मध्ये गेले, बघते तर काय ? ती साधारण जेवण देणारी लोकं ज्यांची financial condition काही खूप छान नाहीच आहे तरीही ती लोकं किती खुश होती. त्या क्षणी वाटलं आपल्या कडे जे आहे ते त्यांच्या कळे नसून हि ती जर खुश राहू शकतात तर मी काय म्हणून दुखी आहे ?

प्रॉब्लेम काय आहे ना, आपल्या कळे जी गोष्ट असते त्याचं आपल्याला काहीच वाटत नाही आणि इथेच चूक होते. कुठे धावतोय आपण आणि कशाला ?

तुम्हाला माहिती आहे का ? जगात प्रत्येक गोष्टी चं कौतुक होऊ शकतं. अगदी तुंहाला जी गोष्ट frustrate करते तिचं सुद्धा. पण आपण ज्या जागी आता उभे आहोत, त्या गोष्टीचं कौतुक आपण कधी करतो का ?

त्याला विचारा कौतुक ज्याचं स्वप्न आहे तुम्ही जिथे उभे आहात तिथे पोहचणं आणि तुमचं काय तर म्हणे मला अजून कुठेच तरी जायचंय. अरे हो जा कि, पहा ना स्वप्न अगदी आकाशाला स्पर्श करणारी, पण जरा वेळ थांबा आणि पहा अवती-भवती , हे पण तितकच सुंदर आणि अविश्वसनीय आहे :)

जर तुम्ही कृतज्ञ नसाल तर कधीच समाधानी होऊ शकणार नाही. काय ?

Flirting is good for health

Lovelyyyyy.
Being Befikre | Carefree is excitement.

I am always ready to do whatever my mind thinks at this moment will give that adrenaline rush just for fun. The video just gives perfect display.

I keep on doing something or anything you can call Befikre.
I'll share one of those.

So, I was in Pune. And just in 2 days I located this guy, who looks stunning in those formals and has an amazing personality. I used to keep looking at him, whenever he used to pass. Ya, he was my next crush. But I am not someone who'll just be happy looking at someone, I make sure my crush knows that he is MY crush. Let's call him A.

So, ya through some friend I conveyed that to him indirectly and guess what, it turns out he is extremely shy of girls. I could see, he used to blush if I am looking at him but never made eye contact. By now the whole office knew that I am having crush on him.
But I havn't flirted with him till now. Sad! But it was difficult as he is really shy.

So, one day after office hours, when I was leaving he was still there with all his guy friends standing at far end from the main door. And I went upto the lift, I suddenly had this urge of doing something (:P)  and I turned back opened the office's door and in front of whole office I shouted his name and said "Byeeee A".
Everybody in the office was either blushing or laughing and A was just shocked as in what to react and said nothing :P
Instead all his friends said - "Byeee Rachanaaa."
Oh God! That was fun.

Till date everyone remembers that.
Trust me there are many of these and they'll never stop.