One of the toughest decisions.

So, one of the interesting chapters of my biography would be,

Refused to take a top government MBBS seat cleared in first attempt.

Yes you read that!!

What ? You don't beleive me ? 

Okay. Check this! 

Now, this is something 95% students will not even think of doing. 

And that's obvious. I mean if you have read this Times of India article,

Only 0.6% AIPMT aspirants crack it every year, you will understand 99.4% are not able to get that golden seat.

Now honestly, I didn't crack AIPMT, but MHCET for medical courses, which limits to seats of government medical colleges of Maharashtra. But nothing changes! 

Remember its MBBS.

This is the same seat, where my classmates took 1 or 2 years gap as they were not able to crack it in first attempt and I know few of them who went on with something else after those 2 years gap as still they didn't get it. 

And here I was who got it in first attempt and just refused.

I am among those remaining 5% who could think of doing something like that and finally I am that 1% who actually did that.

Now, how much it took me to be that 1% amongst the 5% ?

- My mother called me and said - "Ritu, you got the seat. Its Government Medical college Yavatmal. Pack your bags, I am very happy beta. In 2 days we need to rush for the admissions."

  Yes it took a lot of courage to tell my mother," I guess I am not taking that seat ." 

  Somewhere I destroyed her dreams of me becoming a Doctor.

- My relatives kept calling me and telling me - "What are you doing ? Don't do this."

- Every other person my father met during that period, just told him to make me understand that I am doing wrong.

Even I remember one of his colleagues said - "Totally wrong decision on her part, she will regret one day."

One another colleague said - "Mr.Bagde your daughter doesn't seem to be in your control, one should have a good control over their children."

(I have tears in my eyes while writing all this.)

This wasn't the end, there were more of direct personal attacks on an innocent 17yr. old girl.

- I didn't say direct no to my parents but told them 70% - I am not taking that seat and 30% - I would like to visit the college on admission day and then say finally what I decided.

 We went to the college and we were sitting in the auditorium of the college where the admission procedure was going on. We(me and Papa) sat on one of the seats and then he asked me "So ? What have you decided ?"

I said "No"

He said fine and then we were leaving the hall and suddenly this man prompts us - asking, why are you leaving ? Your admission is not done yet. Wait for some time we'll start it soon. He was some staff member of the college who was handling the process.

And my father said - "She don't want to take admission here."

And he was speechless. Not new to me, I was expecting that! But I was not expecting what happened next.

Read this at your own risk. This is one of my worst experiences with people.

He asked my father - "She don't want ? And what do you want ?"

Papa - "Hum toh chahte hi hai MBBS le, par ab baccho ki jaisi marzi."

That man turns to me and almost yells at me,

"Sir, your daughter is selfish. How come she thrash the wishes of her parents.

From childhood your parents fullfill all your wishes and demands and this is what today's generation does.

Such a selfish girl."

Till now whole auditorium was our audience. 

I am very sensitive, if you yell at me - My tears will come out in seconds.

Plus if you praise me with such a language - my little heart will just break into pieces.

If you yell at a girl with such harsh words, then - It hurts!

If you use those words for a daughter who is known as an ideal daughter in her surroundings and closed ones(teachers and relatives), then - It hurts!

If you call a girl selfish who always cared for her parents to be happy and sacrificed her little desires without letting them know that she is only doing those things for their sake, then - It hurts! 

As he attacked me with those words - I couldn't control but burst into sea of tears and got out of the room. I cried, cried and cried. (still crying)

(In my head - How much you know me, to comment something like that extreme ??)

A rich father comes to me and telling me - "What are you doing ? See my son tried for this seat last year, he couldn't get it. This year he did lot of hard work and he got it. We specially came from Mumbai for his admission, our whole family is very happy and celebrating.  Think."

I kept weeping.

My father couldn't understand how to console me, he called my mother and told her to talk to me. I wasn't in condition of talking to anyone. I just wanted to be alone.

One more lady comes to me - "Beta, see this college is very good, its difficult to get admission here. One of my daughter completed her MBBS from this college and this year my younger daughter too is taking admission here."

I told my father - "Let's go. I don't want to be here anymore."

And in the whole journey from Yavatmal to Nagpur, I was silent with no tears.

Now "THE QUESTION",

WHY ?

Why I took this decision ?

Now you will not believe me, when I say - Except me, no one knows the reason till date. Not even my parents.

I don't think I can make anyone understand my reasons. So, I don't try it.

That day and today - I was and am very clear about my decision.

                   And guess what I don't regret. 

                  It was best decision I took.

Now, what to do with those people who were and still are cursing me for my decision ?

Yes I have answer for them. 

Time :) 

Yes! Time will give them all their answers.

Now when someone calls me courageous , I don't go into 'Being Modest' zone.
Because I know it very well I have done many things which is not everyone's cup of tea.

Everytime someone praises me, I'll just smile and feel humbled.

And whatever the way I am, its because of those events that made me this way.
If not have been those events, I would have been something different, which I refuse to possess.