Asach aapla kahitari

Asach aapla kahitari
:)

Thursday, 10 November 2016

Its 0 or 1 for me



My emotions, thinkings, decisions have always been either zero or one and I completely follow the zero or one mantra. Either I am totally into something or I am totally detached, there is nothing in between.
The space between zero and one is not in my book, simple reason being its a very complicated place to be in. And I avoid complications as much as possible. Because those complications don't take you anywhere and you are just stuck and I really can't give any time or energy to get involved in them.
This sums to no energy at zero and total energy from 0.1 to 1 to go directly to 1 as a whole and that's how you give your best shot at 1.

Either you have an important space in my life which I'll make sure you know with my actions or you are just no one to me. There is nothing in between.
Either I want something really badly or I just don't want it. There is nothing like maybe or lets see.
Even my anger, that's why I say - "I rarely get angry." Very few people have seen my anger and their reaction tells me they don't want to see it again :P

This has also sometimes got me into trouble as I might think that something as being 1 but is actually less than 1, say 0.9, and then it hurts because you gave your best shot at 0.9 rather than at 1.
But I am equally good at throwing such things with 0.9 to 0.
Let it be situations, people, performance, or just everything.

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

Touched




Ellen DeGeneres is my LOVE (Yes in capital letters)She is on mission of making people happy, give amazing surprises, make them feel special, help them in their bad times from last 13 years, every single day.
She creates those positive, happy and heavenly vibes - exactly the way I wish this world to be. Exactly the way I want to give people happiness.



My most happy moment of the day is watching the The Ellen Show.

Apart from this, she is really funny. She makes me smile and laugh. Its common psychology after few months or may be couple of years, any form of comedy if gets repeated which naturally happens if a same person is doing it with a same format, kind of bores the audience.
But here is Ellen, this logic just don't apply to her.
Last 13 years, still the same energy, still that adorable presentation and the love!



                  

Something on the Ellen show touched me deep.
In my head, I think I am a selfless person. But today I felt so small in front of this lady and today the definition of selflessness changed for me for life.








The joy of seeing anyone happy and relieved because of you is the greatest.
Somewhere the world is so beautiful and that makes my little world beautiful :) 

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

A letter to 16 year old me.


Hii Rachana, hope you are doing well. There are somethings I wish I could have told you. But never the less they are your lessons now.

I wish I could have told you - 

1. Don't take life too seriously, its a game with ups and downs. Don't worry too much about the destination, sometimes things are just not in your hand. Only thing you can do is enjoy the beautiful journey.

2. Life is not - "Zindagi ka safar hai ye kaisa safar, koi samjha nahi, koi jana nahi."
Rather it is - "Ude khule aasma me khwabo ke parinde."


3. Don't take tension about really simple things. There is lot more than this in future. Atleast enjoy now.

4. Trust me. Every bloody thing happens for something good. So chill!

5. Being in your teenage obviously you feel your parents are born to hurt you. You'll laugh at this after few years as you'll know they are the best gift.

6. Spend some quality time with your family. You are going to miss that a lot in future.

7. Those tears are priceless, don't shed them on unworthy situations.

8. Try to speak more otherwise your voice will disappear. Vestigiality you see.

9. Don't fall in love, ever in your life. Its just difficult and screws you mentally. You are not meant for all that bullshit.

10. Don't invest in people. Big NO. Be it time, emotions, whatever. Again we don't need that bullshit.

11. I know, you very badly wanted to be a Guy, but guess what God has made you a girl. Try a bit to behave like a girl. I mean thoda sa delicate and all. What ? No ? Ok fine, forget it. I love you the way you are.

12. Health man health. Please take care of your health man. You are very irresponsible as far your health is concerned. You make your body suffer a lot. That's lot of atyachar. Not good.

13. Don't ever think of ending your life. Just STUPID! 

14. Dream the impossible and make it happen. Sacrifice whatever comes in between as my only wish is to see that one beautiful day.

15. Don't try to keep everyone happy. You'll end up hurting yourself. You are not God man. Let God do his job and you do yours.

16. Let people go. If they come back, they are all yours, if not, they were never yours. And that should be perfectly fine.

Otherwise you are perfect. 20 year old Rachana feels proud of you and loves you a lot.

Dear 16 year old, do you want to know how your 20 year old looks ?
More confident, risk taker, fearless, very expressive, stronger than ever, looks cute nowadays, takes stand, damn focused, doesn't give a damn what others are thinking, believes in the power of the Universe, got some good friends and few stalkers too, happily single with lots of crushes.


What has not changed ?
Still never complains, still tries to make people happy, still always ready to help and still in love with you.

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

This is strength.


She defines the strength a woman has.
Hats off O P Jaisha.


@13:05




Sunday, 21 August 2016

बरं वाटलं

आज असाच एक होम मिनिस्टर चा एपिसोड पाहत होते, त्यात एक नवीन जोडपं आलं होतं.
त्यांचं नुकतच love marriage झालं होतं. ह्या जोडप्याचं वैशिष्ठ म्हणझे मुलगी मराठी आणि मुलगा ख्रिस्ती (Christian).

बांदेकर मुलीच्या वडिलांना विचारतात तुम्ही कसकाय लावून दिलं ह्यांचं लग्न जेव्हा मुलगा ख्रिस्ती आहे ?
त्यावर त्यांचं उत्तर होतं - 
" मी धर्म - जात असल्या कशातही मानत नाही , कारण मी एक शिक्षक आहे .
 दोघे हि एकमेकांच्या अनुरूप आहेत ते महत्वाचं वाटतं मला. "

किती मोठी गोष्ट आहे हि .
As a  profession  कोणी हि शिक्षक होऊ शकतं हो, पण विचाराने आणि कृतीने जर शिक्षक होता आलं तर जग खूप सुंदर होईल .
हो ना ?

ऐकून फार बरं वाटलं!

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

That was sweet :)




Do din se man thoda sa sad tha. Thakan si thi, physical nahi mental, vo hota hai na jab samajh nahi aa raha hota kya ho raha hai ? bas dimaag ke ghode dodao jitni dur tak ho sake utni dur tak, par thak har ke vapis jaha se shuruwat ki thi wahi aakar theherna padta hai.



Aur vo log hote hai na jinke chehre pe saaf nazar aata hai unke dimaag me kya chal raha hai, me unhi idiots me se ek idiot hu. Mera chehra mere dil ka aayna hai, sab kuch nazar aa jayega.

Bank gayi thi, paise transfer karne they. 
Bank ka issue kuch mahine pehle ho gaya tha, jiske silsile me Papa aakar bank manager se mile they. Toh basically vo mujhe jante they. Ab jante they matlab aisa nahi hai, ki jab bhi me bank jau me unse baat karti hu, nope! Bas jante they.

Aaj jab Cash counter pe khadi thi, maine toh unke pas dekha tak nahi tha.
Anyways, jaise bataya, pareshani aur udasi mere chehre pe ab bhi thi. Par kisko kya padi hai ?
Actually mujhe bhi kuch nahi padi hai, kyuki ye mere liye normal hai. Mahine ke 30 dino me me kuch 12 din hi khush dikhti hu, baki sare din aisa hi kuch haal hota hai, toh hua na normal ? Ye mera ek adbhoot talent hai!

Thodi der baad college ka aur dusra kam kar ke hostel vapis aayi, ghar se missed calls they. Vapis call kiya. Maine mummy ko bataya - "Paise kar diye transfer."
Is par unka question aata hai - "Tu thik toh hai na ?"
Ab mera dimaag shuru -  Achanak aise kyu bhala pucha ? 
"Haan."
Mummy - "Kya kar rahi thi ?"
                 "Tabiyat toh thik hai na ?"
                 "Koi problem hai ?"
"Arrey. Nahi..kyu ?"

Mummy - "Tumhare college se bank manager ka call aaya tha Papa ko, vo bata rahe they tu bahot pareshan aur sad lag rahi thi. Apni beti ka khayal rakho."

I had that aww wale tears in my eyes listening to this :) 

Kaise na ? 
He is the manager, vo pura time busy rehte hai, phir bhi unhone mujhe notice kiya aur time nikal ke papa ko call bhi kiya. Ye logo ki khubsoorti na mujhe sabse jyada khush karti hai.

Ye sunke sari thakan ud gayi.
Mujhe jab koi insaan accha lagta hai, me unko duaye deti hu.
Manager uncle aur unki family humesha khush rahe. Dil se :) 

Saturday, 13 August 2016

One of the toughest decisions.





So, one of the interesting chapters of my biography would be,


Refused to take a top government MBBS seat cleared in first attempt.

Yes you read that!!


What ? You don't beleive me ? 
Okay. Check this! 








Now, this is something 95% students will not even think of doing. 



And that's obvious. I mean if you have read this Times of India article,
Only 0.6% AIPMT aspirants crack it every year, you will understand 99.4% are not able to get that golden seat.
Now honestly, I didn't crack AIPMT, but MHCET for medical courses, which limits to seats of government medical colleges of Maharashtra. But nothing changes! 
Remember its MBBS.
This is the same seat, where my classmates took 1 or 2 years gap as they were not able to crack it in first attempt and I know few of them who went on with something else after those 2 years gap as still they didn't get it. 
And here I was who got it in first attempt and just refused.



I am among those remaining 5% who could think of doing something like that and finally I am that 1% who actually did that.
Now, how much it took me to be that 1% amongst the 5% ?



- My mother called me and said - "Ritu, you got the seat. Its Government Medical college Yavatmal. Pack your bags, I am very happy beta. In 2 days we need to rush for the admissions."
  Yes it took a lot of courage to tell my mother," I guess I am not taking that seat ." 
  Somewhere I destroyed her dreams of me becoming a Doctor.


- My relatives kept calling me and telling me - "What are you doing ? Don't do this."


- Every other person my father met during that period, just told him to make me understand that I am doing wrong.
Even I remember one of his colleagues said - "Totally wrong decision on her part, she will regret one day."

One another colleague said - "Mr.Bagde your daughter doesn't seem to be in your control, one should have a good control over their children."
(I have tears in my eyes while writing all this.)

This wasn't the end, there were more of direct personal attacks on an innocent 17yr. old girl.


- I didn't say direct no to my parents but told them 70% - I am not taking that seat and 30% - I would like to visit the college on admission day and then say finally what I decided.

 We went to the college and we were sitting in the auditorium of the college where the admission procedure was going on. We(me and Papa) sat on one of the seats and then he asked me "So ? What have you decided ?"

I said "No"



He said fine and then we were leaving the hall and suddenly this man prompts us - asking, why are you leaving ? Your admission is not done yet. Wait for some time we'll start it soon. He was some staff member of the college who was handling the process.
And my father said - "She don't want to take admission here."
And he was speechless. Not new to me, I was expecting that! But I was not expecting what happened next.

Read this at your own risk. This is one of my worst experiences with people.

He asked my father - "She don't want ? And what do you want ?"
Papa - "Hum toh chahte hi hai MBBS le, par ab baccho ki jaisi marzi."

That man turns to me and almost yells at me,

"Sir, your daughter is selfish. How come she thrash the wishes of her parents.

From childhood your parents fullfill all your wishes and demands and this is what today's generation does.

Such a selfish girl."



Till now whole auditorium was our audience. 
I am very sensitive, if you yell at me - My tears will come out in seconds.
Plus if you praise me with such a language - my little heart will just break into pieces.

If you yell at a girl with such harsh words, then - It hurts!
If you use those words for a daughter who is known as an ideal daughter in her surroundings and closed ones(teachers and relatives), then - It hurts!
If you call a girl selfish who always cared for her parents to be happy and sacrificed her little desires without letting them know that she is only doing those things for their sake, then - It hurts! 

As he attacked me with those words - I couldn't control but burst into sea of tears and got out of the room. I cried, cried and cried. (still crying)

(In my head - How much you know me, to comment something like that extreme ??)

A rich father comes to me and telling me - "What are you doing ? See my son tried for this seat last year, he couldn't get it. This year he did lot of hard work and he got it. We specially came from Mumbai for his admission, our whole family is very happy and celebrating.  Think."



I kept weeping.
My father couldn't understand how to console me, he called my mother and told her to talk to me. I wasn't in condition of talking to anyone. I just wanted to be alone.
One more lady comes to me - "Beta, see this college is very good, its difficult to get admission here. One of my daughter completed her MBBS from this college and this year my younger daughter too is taking admission here."



I told my father - "Let's go. I don't want to be here anymore."
And in the whole journey from Yavatmal to Nagpur, I was silent with no tears.




Now "THE QUESTION",


WHY ?

Why I took this decision ?



Now you will not believe me, when I say - Except me, no one knows the reason till date. Not even my parents.


I don't think I can make anyone understand my reasons. So, I don't try it.
That day and today - I was and am very clear about my decision.

                   And guess what I don't regret. 
                  It was best decision I took.



Now, what to do with those people who were and still are cursing me for my decision ?
Yes I have answer for them. 

Time :) 



Yes! Time will give them all their answers.

Now when someone calls me courageous , I don't go into 'Being Modest' zone.
Because I know it very well I have done many things which is not everyone's cup of tea.

Everytime someone praises me, I'll just smile and feel humbled.

And whatever the way I am, its because of those events that made me this way.
If not have been those events, I would have been something different, which I refuse to possess.